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Day 7 post + 2nd round of Dryuary

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  • Day 7 post + 2nd round of Dryuary

    Another shout-out, this time to Marc. Really appreciated the Day 7 post today, about acting like a kid again --you know: "not taking ourselves too seriously, treating others the way we would like to be treated, and allowing ourselves to have some safe (and sober) fun regularly". I was just last night reflecting on how the kids in my household are in the sweet spot --12 and 14: old enough to really contribute, young enough to still be tender and sweet as unbaked cinnamon rolls. Kids should get more credit for all they pull off. Thanks to Marc for reminding us of how wonderful it is to touch back in with stuff we used to know and live by!

    I am having such an interesting experience of Dryuary this year! Not at all what I expected, and not at all like last year, which felt most times like a heroic quest. I was going to Do This! And a number of folks who participated in the thread we had going last year around it seemed to enter with the same spirit of joining in with a generally joyous and forward-looking, but also heroic and major battle with a habit. There were a lot of triumphs, check-ins, agh! it's getting long!!'s...sort of an ABC Wide World of Sports-seeming Thrill of Victory and the Agony of (temporary) Defeat while we found our feet, and also found out that to slip up one day just means you move to the next day and get rolling again on project do-I-want-this (I'm dating myself as having watched tv before the era of ESPN). This year the posts seem different, which is making me wonder if a lot of the zoomy high and low were in my own head? Not at all out of the question. And of course, it's early days in this month, still. But I do notice that my experience of regular abstaining is quite different this month, and I'm wondering about the experiences of others who have done Dryuary regularly? Is it different every year? How is it different?

    On my side: I had been looking forward to Dryuary for months --I was really ready for a nice, calm reset after a hectic holiday season. I had also thought that I'd begin the 31 days on Jan 10 since we have a number of life-event festivities in the first part of the month and it seemed a bit arbitrary to not enjoy a champagne toast and or a glass of wine with the group. So my plan was moderation the first part of the month and then a nice, extended break from Jan. 10 through Valentine's Day, sort of a love letter to me.

    As it happened, two unexpected conditions popped up: First, something in my brain just said, very quietly, "Nah...it's Jan 1. We're taking a break for a bit." And I have not only not been in the mood to drink, I've actually been in the mood to *not*-drink. SUCH a surprise, because I just loved my champagne over Nov and Dec. ..?? The second really nice thing is that enough people in my circle both know about my appreciation for Dryuary and --to my surprise-- have been sort of thinking of hopping on, that on the occasions I thought would be a bit awkward not to drink, a few people have expected that I wouldn't, and have expressed interest in taking an occasion to not-drink either. The other night I met my friend out, and as the waiter asked about drinks she said to me, "So, what's the bitters you like best here? I've been waiting for you to give me a tour of the bitters and soda world." That was such a lovely, unexpected way to get the evening going, and we had so much fun! Another occasion cropped up last night, in which I found that I not only successfully avoided drinking on a ladies' night with some friends of mine who work in the alcohol industry, but actually enjoyed myself more than I thought I would *because* I wasn't drinking (also, we were at a restaurant that --again-- makes the most delicious bitters...). I'm grateful that they were supportive --we ended up having a couple of good exchanges about the perils, over the long term, of working in alcohol. But wow is my mindset this month unexpected.

    What comes next? I'm very curious. I do still have in mind that before the 10th is still flexible, but I hope I'll keep honoring that inner voice that says, "Nah..." and also keep listening to my friends who say, "Hey, that sounds like such a good idea. How can I participate?" We'll see. I am happy to say that I genuinely do not know what's in store, but also that I trust myself, since she and I seem to be up to something good here.


    Have others had a similar experience? This clear, steady, calm sense of This Is What We Do? Or really, any clear difference between one Dryuary or extended abs period and others? I would really love to read about those, so thanks for any sharing folks feel moved to offer

  • #2
    I feel the same way. Last year was my first year and I was really expecting withdrawals and not making it. The first 4 days were really hard and I was in a really bad mood expecting that I would last a week at most. Thank god my wife was on board. This year, like you, I looked forward to the clarity and opportunity to reflect. I got so many projects down over the weekend that had been neglected for months. No hangovers, no time going to the bottle shop just calm and energetic. Makes me wonder why I keep going back to the well. Drinking is the easy way out. It puts you in the moment without having to do any of the hard stuff. Thanks for the post! It was a great read.

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    • #3
      Me three, 3733 and john D . This Dryuary has been pleasantly effortless, and I'm really hoping that I will choose to carry on absing beyond January. Lately it seems any amount of drinking brings remorse the next morning, and then the illogical tendency to string those unsatisfactory days together. And I end up with a wilted bouquet of crappy days. Afterward, it seems to take a concerted effort to accomplish an abs day. Then I feel refreshed and start all over again.

      It sure sounds stupid, but I'm not stupid. I'm dealing with a formidable enemy to my health and happiness here, and I do believe I'm starting to get the upper hand... Shhhh, as the Day 8 essay suggests, the Internal Negotiator doesn't need to see my hand just yet!

      Stay the course, Dryuarians.
      My MM Olympics Plan Website
      http://challenge90.wix.com/ruthmarie

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      • #4
        Ruth Marie - love this. No, we are not stupid. Thank you for the prompt to go look at the Day 8 post! My inner negotiator did indeed give me a workout last night...

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        • #5
          john D thanks for chiming in, and for the kind words! Such a curious process we're all embarked on, year in, year out.

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