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  • #46
    I know, they can all sound so frumpish, huh?
    Believe it or not, you can still dance on tables, you can still moon a police car (they'd probably be pleasantly surprised to find out you weren't drunk), you can still have kinky sex, you can skinny dip in a public fountain, you can swim with whale sharks, you can start training for the space program, although that wouldn't be irresponsible, would it? You don't have to drink to be irresponsible or fun. You just have to find a way to let your inhibitions run free-without getting drunk. It ain't easy, especially if you've relied on drinking to loosen up your inhibitions for a long time. I still haven't mastered it and I'm afraid if I mooned a police car at my age, the look of disgust on their face would crush my fragile 50 something ego, so I settle for the more frumpish activities.
    Kary

    https://www.amazon.com/Neighbor-Hand.../dp/B01LWICGL6

    https://godwalkedintothisbar.blogspot.com

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    • #47
      Day 9. Hello day 9. Yesterday was rough. A long sunday out shopping and my mood was poor (actually has been poor- more irritable and frustrated since starting the 30). I'm excited it is the week again and there is more structure to the days. Every night I dream that I am drinking and then I remember my 30 and agonize over having failed- LOL- What a relief when I wake up!!

      So my friend tore her achilles and her husband asked if I would come down and visit her to lift her spirits. I fly out Friday and return on Monday. Paso Robles. A wknd of wine tasting. I can't believe it and I'm not sure what to do. I know I need to plan ahead, and I can offer to drive, but this is a challenge that I wasn't planning on facing my 1st 30- WTF!

      3733 & Jeremy80, I also struggle with blowing off steam. I love the rebelliousness of drinking and the break from the day to day-- its hard to find a substitute. Kay Mary, I love your ideas- if only I could be so bold!! I guess this is part where stretching your boundaries comes in. I watch a lot of drug cartel, prison, gangster, spy, and detective shows/movies.

      You all are amazing! Great job!

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      • #48
        someones' post stated that they were a little bored right now and would like a break from thinking.... yes yes yes !! that is exactly the sentiment i've felt thes last couple of days. "hey, one won't hurt on a sunday". well, i promised myself, so yes it would! i have to keep telling myself that. yes it would. i have to keep redirecting my brain... yes it would hurt. it would hurt because i promised myself. that's about all i got right now. i just keep telling myself i promised... and with the knowledge that there are others of a like mind that i can lean on, and who can lean on me, and we are in this thing together. but, there is still that part of me that doesn't want to believe that "one on sunday" could possibly hurt. this is day nine for me. this thing sure isn't easy! thank you for all of the wonderful posts and support!!

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        • #49
          Day 10 today! Almost a week and a half in. I am feeling pretty good and am struggling a lot less than at the beginning. Yesterday was a traumatic day for me personally, and usually that means drowning my emotions in booze. But I had NO desire to do that! I ate some sweets instead, and even those were not satisfying, so I cried a lot, called a daughter, and meditated. Learning, one step at a time, to respond to my extreme feelings in a healthy way.

          3733 said: " I would love some suggestions for what folks do to perk things up, blow off steam when they are not drinking."

          Well, yesterday I did the above, kind of desperately though. Besides taking a walk, etc, I can think of a few: taking a drive (I love an alone drive), yoga (or just a nice stretching routine, or a series of simple Sun Salutations if you're not very yogi), cuddle up with a calm dog that needs no training LOL, or brush said dog!, call an old friend or someone completely positive and have a good chat, go to a favorite coffee shop (or explore and find a new one) with a book, meditate (I love the Insight Timer app - it's free! And ad free too!). Well, hmmm. None of that is very perky or steam blowing LOL! I am perky and active for a living, so my off time is more relaxed. A friend once told me to take a (wooden) baseball bat and beat the shit out of a tree. I would feel bad wailing away on a tree though. Or go to a boxing gym and take it out on the heavy bag!
          "Be present in this moment, for NOW is the only time."

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          • #50
            Music doth sooth the savage soul....someone said that. One of the ways I blow off steam is dancing. Hard to go to bars when you don't want to drink, but there are a variety of dance/exercise classes where you can fling your body around and it feels really good! Or just plain dance classes. There are lots of different kinds of dance that are fun. Have made it through today without urge thoughts. Or find some discussion groups where the topic is something one is passionate about. Running, shouting, singing, paddling, rock climbing. Challenging my body helps to mellow me out.

            On to day 11!

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            • #51
              Well, I made it through watching the 3 hour NCAA Football Championship game yesterday without a drink. I haven't watched a football game without drinking since I don't know when. Beer and college football are big family and friend activities in my life. My husband and I stayed home and watched it instead of going to a bar so that helped a lot. Luckily we are well past tailgating season.

              3733, is there a climbing gym around your area that you could join? Maybe you could take a welding or skate-ski class or start a woodworking or bookmaking project. I was trying to think of things that might be different or new, and also hands-on or physical. Just like Kekohu was saying, I feel like I need to have both my mind and body engaged in a challenging activity to “"surf the urge”".

              Day 11, here we come!

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              • #52
                Hey kary may , PeaHen, freeheel and folks: I really appreciate the suggestions! Funny you'd mention the climbing wall, PeaHen (or was it freeheel? I remain lame at managing threads on this site--). I enjoyed those evening swims during my conference last weekend so much that I'm going to sign up at the pool later this week so I can swim after work. But...there's something else at work...someone up here referred to it...it's the thinking, the sober voice saying, No, I'm not doing that. I'm looking forward to *enjoying* exercising good judgement and not associating it with being sort of...flat... I'm fine, and N/A beer is satisfying, as is seltzer w bitters or a shirley temple or tea or whatever...there's just some kind of fun element missing right now. Since I'm a meditator I'm just sitting with that. But I really do hope that Kary May's view of life catches on with me, because I would like to find the fun and zip again...!

                Someone else commented in passing that abstinence is easier than moderation. That is so true! I find myself wondering about what I'll do after Dryuary. *Am* I going to start drinking again in moderation? As meh as I feel these days, I must say that I really don't want to be drinking as much as I was before (at least 2 drinks a night, once or twice as much as 4, at least 5 nights a week...I guess that may not sound like all that much, but I'm a quick buzz/quick drunk, and it was a complete habit/routine, so needed a lot of looking at and some disruption). But it was hard to stop at one when I set that goal.

                So I'm on the fence about whether I start up again. With three weeks to go, I guess I have time to weigh the pros and cons at my leisure... Thank you, everyone! Your posts are great and keep me good company! Much appreciated. This forum is so helpful. I check it about three times a day. So keep posting!

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                • #53
                  Hi folks!I am not participating in dryuary, but am hanging out in moduary this month after a pretty ugly Dec. I see many of you are worried about your reentry into mods. Maybe you could commit to a month of mods in Feb. just like you are doing now with abs. I often felt "flat" (great word for that feeling) last year when I first began the program. I was a habitual drinker who weekend binged. I mean to tell you the first few months I felt flat. Then one day I said NO MORE! I will relearn how to have fun without booze. I started doing fun things l always enjoyed without booze. It took a few months, but now I find I usually am having more fun when I am not drinking. Who knew?

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                  • #54
                    Thanks to everybody for their posts! It seems like we all share the same worries and concerns about how to fill in the time with something interesting, fun, healthy, or "whatever" without drinking. This is my month to finally change my 5:00 pm wine-time habit that I have looked forward to every day for the last 10 years, so I cannot expect it to be easy. My friends say to me..."Oh, it is just a couple of glasses of wine, why worry?" Well, those glasses are not a 4 ounce pour, probably an 8 ounce pour each. Then the rest of the evening is taken care of and I just relax and watch tv...but then the morning comes and there is a headache and a fuzzy brain, and I don't have any spark for life. Is it worth it? Nope? Will I want to return to my wine time? Of course! It is a habit that is tough to break.

                    To 3733....we are all in the same boat, so we need each other's support to finally break our habits that are so ingrained (and so enjoyable while we are in them, but not later). I love all the suggestions. I even signed up for a painting class...something to keep me busy and something new. I do aerobics and can really tell the difference in my energy. Exercise really helps, doesn't it? Keep up the good work everyone!

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                    • #55
                      Was listening to the radio driving to train station today and on the morning show 101.1 FM, kind of a a popular music radio station, one of the DJ's from Australia was commenting on his dry January. The others were chiming in on how much brighter he looked and more energetic. That must have felt a little uncomfortable for him because it's kind of a backwards comment and how he didn't look great before. He also made a funny comment that after 10 days he could smell a glass of wine from a 100 yards out.
                      Thought it interesting since I have been following this thread.

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                      • #56

                        For all those signed up on this Dryuary Accountability Thread, and yes, those that are not and happen upon this post, I am offering a Dryuary Countdown special on my book. For the next 6 days, 15 hours, 57 minutes, 38 seconds, 37 seconds, 36 second...my book will be sale on Amazon. com for $.99. Unfortunately, I think Amazon is only running this promotion in the U.S. but if you write me and let me know you bought the book and did not get the discount, send me a screenshot of your receipt with your personal info not included and I will donate the amount I make off your purchase, over the $.99 back to MM. Confused yet?


                        For those of you who have purchased my book in the past and paid full price and notified me that you wanted to donate half of my profit from your purchase, I did send in a donation to MM in December which included your donation of half of my profits from your purchase and I will be sending you a bcc of that email today.

                        Here's the link to the book:

                        Neighbor Kary May's Handbook to Happily Drinking Less or Not Drinking At All-Quite Happily: With the support of the online recovery community

                        (It took me another 8 seconds to type out that monster of a name so now you have 6 days, 15 hours, 57 minutes and 28 seconds
                        https://www.amazon.com/Neighbor-Hand.../dp/B01LWICGL6

                        https://godwalkedintothisbar.blogspot.com

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                        • #57
                          I just completed my first "30" but it was easy because I was sick, staying home out of lousy weather & not going out to holiday parties.
                          My challenge will be when I'm out seeing live music with my pals.
                          Where can I get tips on cues to remind me to Not have/order a second drink?

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                          • #58
                            I'm considering another "30" made of 30 nights out (not consecutive, but total). to see what comes up for me in those situations.
                            Thanks for any words of advice you can share.

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                            • #59
                              Bactrac has some great BAC apps and analyzers.
                              The award-winning BACtrack Mobile Breathalyzer wirelessly syncs to your iPhone or Android smartphone and delivers BAC results with police-grade accuracy.
                              https://www.amazon.com/Neighbor-Hand.../dp/B01LWICGL6

                              https://godwalkedintothisbar.blogspot.com

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Hello all. I'm new; just joined Saturday so today is day 5 for me. It's been kind of tough the first 4 days, but I'm hoping today was the hump. Tomorrow evening may be tough because mom feeds me and my kiddos and nephew on Thursdays. I almost always have a few beers with mom.

                                I'm hoping to abstain until my February vacation. And I'm hoping to moderate on vacation. I really don't like waking up feeling like hell, wishing I'd stopped the first time I'd thought "I should stop, now. Drink water!" Five o'clock PM the next day seems to be the hour at which I start feeling human, again. I poison myself.

                                So, for the social aspect, I'm hoping to follow the 3 drink rule while on vacation. I'm going with DH's family, all fairly heavy drinkers.

                                My DH's friend showed me a trick he and his wife use. They drink a beer and then fill the beer bottle with water. I may use that trick while on vacation.

                                Anyway, here's to day 5 and gaining strength and positivity for day 6!

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